Libra: Using complex chemical equations, I have found the best place for you to study. Studying at lat. 38'11 and long. 46'13 would help you most in these exams. Geographically, this is somewhere in sub Saharan Africa. It's a little out of your way - but hey ! Stop complaining, success never came easy to anyone.
Pisces: This week travel is on the cards. It's a good time according to the stars so make that journey now. But hey ! You can't use any mode of transport apart form walking, and the distance you travel must be within 2 km or else something bad will happen. But it's a good time to travel anyway, so take a walk round your block. This is the best time.
Aries: Remember that mosquito you swatted this week, years ago? Well its payback time sweetie. That poor departed soul got reincarnated as a mathematics professor. So if you, or your child just gave a math exam this week, say bye bye to your marks !
Aquarius: There has been a very big gas leak on an alien chemical plant on Mars. And that, unfortunately, is the planet you are ruled by this week. So wherever you go, please carry an oxygen mask along. And whatever you do, don't light a match. The gas is inflammable.
Gemini: All those of you appearing for an exam anytime during the next three weeks or so must, at all costs, refrain from any sort of...aa.. well.. physical activity with the opposite sex. So no walking your respective boyfriends/girlfriends home. And no matter what this coloumn says next week, this condition holds.
Leo: This is not a good time to cheat. While secret tapes and tehelka recordings are still hot, who knows, maybe your exam hall is being watched over. Try studying instead. A good time would be 2 to 4 am every Tuesday.
Cancer: Jupiter is in line with Pluto, which makes lord Zigga rule. He is the lord of chaos and misplaced articles. So pray like crazy to him, and if you're really lucky your answer sheet will be misplaced and you'll pass. By benefit of doubt.
Taurus: If your result is this week, do this. Use lots of hair gel to make your hair stand, wear mismatched clothes and walk backwards. Then stand on one leg and look at your name on the list using a pair of binoculars. This may not help you get excellent grades, but it'll sure make everyone laugh.
Virgo: All those taking an entrance exam this week are advised to sit near the entrance. Sitting there would send positive vibrations to your psychological metabolic perception of an entrance exam and will increase your concentration a lot. Nonsense..you'll be able to run out faster in case of a fire.
Sagittarius: Be a little careful of water this week. There may be an accident. So this is clearly no time for you to check your body's water retention powers - if you have to go, just go. And no stunts. Don't even drink water during an exam, if a question scares you, you might choke.
Capricorn: After about 250 years the moon is in this position again. Well, it's like this, when the moon is aligned in this special way, we have this really big high tide in all our coastal areas because the gravitational pull of the moon on the earth is exceptionally high. So don't go near the seashore for a week and wear the heaviest pair of boots you can find. We don't want you being pulled away to the moon now, do we ?
Scorpio: Vous avez la possibilite de travailler ou d'aller etudier le francias dans un pays francophone. Vous en discutez avec un etudiant et vous tenez compte de ses arguments... What !!! You DON'T know French ? Well... What are you waiting for, go learn it. From this week your forecast will always be in French.
PS: The forecasts given above are purely for entertainment purposes and do not contain even a small dosage of seriousness. We take no responsibility for the consequences that may arise if you choose to follow our advice. However, in the rare occasion that you happen to somehow benefit from these predictions please forward your cheques of Rs. 101 or more to our office. Our astrologer, Shri Superstrong Beerwala, would greatly appreciate it. :-)
Pisces: This week travel is on the cards. It's a good time according to the stars so make that journey now. But hey ! You can't use any mode of transport apart form walking, and the distance you travel must be within 2 km or else something bad will happen. But it's a good time to travel anyway, so take a walk round your block. This is the best time.
Aries: Remember that mosquito you swatted this week, years ago? Well its payback time sweetie. That poor departed soul got reincarnated as a mathematics professor. So if you, or your child just gave a math exam this week, say bye bye to your marks !
Aquarius: There has been a very big gas leak on an alien chemical plant on Mars. And that, unfortunately, is the planet you are ruled by this week. So wherever you go, please carry an oxygen mask along. And whatever you do, don't light a match. The gas is inflammable.
Gemini: All those of you appearing for an exam anytime during the next three weeks or so must, at all costs, refrain from any sort of...aa.. well.. physical activity with the opposite sex. So no walking your respective boyfriends/girlfriends home. And no matter what this coloumn says next week, this condition holds.
Leo: This is not a good time to cheat. While secret tapes and tehelka recordings are still hot, who knows, maybe your exam hall is being watched over. Try studying instead. A good time would be 2 to 4 am every Tuesday.
Cancer: Jupiter is in line with Pluto, which makes lord Zigga rule. He is the lord of chaos and misplaced articles. So pray like crazy to him, and if you're really lucky your answer sheet will be misplaced and you'll pass. By benefit of doubt.
Taurus: If your result is this week, do this. Use lots of hair gel to make your hair stand, wear mismatched clothes and walk backwards. Then stand on one leg and look at your name on the list using a pair of binoculars. This may not help you get excellent grades, but it'll sure make everyone laugh.
Virgo: All those taking an entrance exam this week are advised to sit near the entrance. Sitting there would send positive vibrations to your psychological metabolic perception of an entrance exam and will increase your concentration a lot. Nonsense..you'll be able to run out faster in case of a fire.
Sagittarius: Be a little careful of water this week. There may be an accident. So this is clearly no time for you to check your body's water retention powers - if you have to go, just go. And no stunts. Don't even drink water during an exam, if a question scares you, you might choke.
Capricorn: After about 250 years the moon is in this position again. Well, it's like this, when the moon is aligned in this special way, we have this really big high tide in all our coastal areas because the gravitational pull of the moon on the earth is exceptionally high. So don't go near the seashore for a week and wear the heaviest pair of boots you can find. We don't want you being pulled away to the moon now, do we ?
Scorpio: Vous avez la possibilite de travailler ou d'aller etudier le francias dans un pays francophone. Vous en discutez avec un etudiant et vous tenez compte de ses arguments... What !!! You DON'T know French ? Well... What are you waiting for, go learn it. From this week your forecast will always be in French.
PS: The forecasts given above are purely for entertainment purposes and do not contain even a small dosage of seriousness. We take no responsibility for the consequences that may arise if you choose to follow our advice. However, in the rare occasion that you happen to somehow benefit from these predictions please forward your cheques of Rs. 101 or more to our office. Our astrologer, Shri Superstrong Beerwala, would greatly appreciate it. :-)
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