01. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
02. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
03. A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband than she did, but she knows that her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.
04. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
05. If you must choose between the two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
06. Not a shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
07. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
08. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
09. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
10. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
13. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
16. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
17. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
18. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
20. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
Via: Caroline
02. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
03. A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband than she did, but she knows that her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.
04. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
05. If you must choose between the two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
06. Not a shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
07. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
08. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
09. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
10. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
13. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
16. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
17. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
18. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
20. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
Via: Caroline
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